How to be intentional christian dating
But as we talked about how our casual dating relationship led us to this point, she said something that took me by surprise. It can actually be a good thing to go out with a person casually before adding the intensity of talking about marriage or an exclusive relationship into the mix. Making it obvious that it is, in fact, a date.
In our society, many affairs happen in the workplace because of time and proximity. Many people go on dates with the purpose of having a one-night stand or making someone else jealous. God is doing great things in our midst and I pray you are growing deeper in relationship with each other as you grow deeper in relationship with Jesus.
Clearly spending time with me was hurting him, so I intentionally stopped the relationship to protect him. Being Clear Dating always involves two people, one of whom is not you. Here are a few thoughts from some of our various Lifegroup leaders. Love your neighbor like you love yourself. Become a person who loves God above everything.
After some emotionally charged times in your life, you might want to deliberately avoid seeking marriage. So, the goal for any particular dating relationship is to get to know the person well enough to determine if you do want to marry them. If things are going well, ask her out regularly, like once a week.
There are many times or seasons in which active dating and seeking marriage do not have to occur. Allowing our emotions and desires to control our behavior will lead us into compromising situations.
Leading well, being intentional, and frankly being a real man are all closely related. She intuitively recognized that both of us were trying to figure out where our relationship was going because we were interested in long-term potential, not self-gratification.
Allow God to make you like Him. Another example I have is that I stopped talking to a man in my building because he wanted to be more than friends. So, besides having a purpose for dating, you also need to let the other person know what your intentions are. We kept trying to Hang Out, but inevitably he would keep bringing up dating. It is hard to clearly convey your intentions through short, written notes.
How to Date Intentionally
In a strong Christian girl friend, we have been given a gift of community, personality and perspective that God can use to speak truth into our lives. And we should care for them as we would our own sister. We spent so much time together that pretty soon we were getting very close emotionally. Strange situation, but we got along great. Girls, if a guy asks you out, one-on-one, has no business-related agenda, focuses the conversation on learning about you, and pays the bill, that should be enough evidence that it is a date.
In such situations, your judgment may be cloudy. Recognize that there are seasons for not seeking marriage. To be intentional recognizes that there is a deeper meaningfulness to this relationship. That is way more clear than, say, going on one date in July and then calling her up again after Labor Day. In fact, make it your goal to leave her better than you found her if it does come to leaving at all.
During times of healing or regrouping, you probably need deep Christian friendship more than dates and ideas of marriage. Some Christians believe in intentionality so strongly that they feel a man should have an honest conversation with a woman about his interest and intentions before they even go on a single date. Not being this clear and intentional is often viewed as being self-serving, cowardly, or the mark of a poor leader. See, who you are at heart determines your behavior. Because I love God, I want to give Him the best of my time and attention rather than waste it on self-serving, directionless flings.
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